Shabbos Shalom

Contemplating the complexity of complete complementarity comments on the commitment of commercial commingling in the consubstantiality of concomitant conversations among the conversant of the emergent movement whereby communion is more than a couple of onions but rather is the community of eternal fellowship lovingly interacting in a square dance of triangulated perfection giving and receiving, receiving and giving, hop scotching and skipping through the cosmic embrace of salvific sensuality irregardless of the consequential repercussions of violating the Lord's Shabbos. Thus, to acheive shalom in the home is to break the Shabbos of YHVH in a subversive act of disobedient obedience. כל טוב

9 Propositions on Ψευδοθεολογια

Because I could never attain to the heights of pseudotheologian Kim Fabricius I will grace the reader with but 9 propositions on pseudotheology:

1. To speak in the manner which the common man understands is to essentially bring the divine down to the level of humanity. Such speech is inadequate for the pseudotheologian and must be avoided at all costs.

2. Pseudotheology is the enterprise of interpreting exactly that which the Scriptures do not say and making such interpretations completely irrelevant to the human condition.

3. Ψευδοθεολογια is lost without Germans and young Americans who unsuspectingly eat up everything these Germans say.

4. The act of pseudoθεολογια is to wonder, ponder, and ask, yet never to figure out, apply, or answer.

5. Ψευδοtheologia would be naught if it weren't for the suffix -ation.

6. Stanley Hauerwas is the preeminent Ψευδοθεολογιαn in North America.

7. Jürgen Moltmann is his German counterpart.

8. 98.89% of all weblogs that pertain to theology are the epitomy of Ψευδοθεολογια.

9. Speculative theology is the process in which we see (via the spec-tacle) the rel-ative (i.e. the red headed step cousin) of proper God-speech which is no less than Ψευδοθεολογια.

Carpe Diem

While the commoners among us bicker and quarrel over controversial eschatological matters of "rapture" they fail to realize the existential realism in the New Testament's presentation of exactly what is "raptured" i.e., the day. One need search no further than the illustrious Latin of St. Jerome's Vulgate, a translation prepared for the common among us to see this relative truth so perfectly presented so as to presuppose our perfect perception of it.

Most misconstrue Rabbi Shaul's words in 1Thessalonians 4:16, 17:

quoniam ipse Dominus in iussu et in voce archangeli et in tuba Dei descendet de caelo et mortui qui in Christo sunt resurgent primi deinde nos qui vivimus qui relinquimur simul rapiemur cum illis in nubibus obviam Domino in aera et sic semper cum Domino erimus

to mean that perhaps the Lord will rapiemur (i.e., rapture) his saints at his coming. Talk of timing is meaningless when referring to the eternally redemptive paradigm in which the Scriptures are set, so debate over when the tribulation occurs in relation to the "rapture" is futile. But it is the words of Messiah Yeshua in the tenth chapter of John's Gospel that lays this erroneous idea to eternal rest:

oves meae vocem meam audiunt et ego cognosco eas et sequuntur me et ego vitam aeternam do eis et non peribunt in aeternum et non rapiet eas quisquam de manu mea Pater meus quod dedit mihi maius omnibus est et nemo potest rapere de manu Patris mei

Yeshua is transparent in his presentation. No man shall rapiet/rapere (i.e., rapture) the saints from his and his Father's hands! To suppose that Jesus, himself a man, could "rapture" his saints is to spit in the eternally reflective face of the divine revelation mediated through the humanly articulated and pneumatically inspired utterances of the apostolic witness.

Quite the opposite, the Latin term translated into the English "rapture" is a translation of the Greek hαρπαζω which means to "seize" or "carry off by force." But the joyous transcendence of salvific elation is not forceful and the ever-existing give-and-take relationship of the triune life would never allow a "seizure" of God's people. Rather it is the day itself that is "seized" when the divine meets humanity and heaven is brought to earth. Carpe diem!

Icing Jesus

The exegetical expectancy of the majority of academia only proves the mantra that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. The scholars of the world prove themselves foolish by claiming to draw the meaning out of the text when in fact they end up freezing the Lord Jesus in a context completely foreign to the contemporary pathos of post-Enlightenment redundancy. Hence it is proper to designate their exercise of interpretation as "icing Jesus" while they mock the process of speculative theology as "eisegesis."

But the words of Christ were clearly intended to be construed in a 180° roundabout manner of manifesting wisdom indicating the utter immaturity and ignorance of those exegetes who seek to take the initial understanding of what the original audience would have surely understood by these sayings and aphorisms. The subversive nature of Yeshua's ministry could not possibly be expressed in a straightforward reading of the text of the New Testament and such should be obvious to anyone created as the imago Dei and commissioned to a processional mission of missional procession.

The same can be said for the illustrious Rabbi Shaul and the ever-wise M. Westermoreland-White illuminates our underdeveloped understanding by bringing to light a series by pseudo-theologian Thom Stark which M. W-W. describes as a: "fantastic series on Romans 13 as a call to nonviolent political activism, not blind obedience to the state or other Powers." We'd be foolish not to heed the words of such speculative ψευδοθεολογια. To ignore such wisdom would be sophistry of the worst kind.

Afterbirth

After entering into the womb of Messiah through the pre-coital ejaculatory manifestation of Ruach Hakodesh we begin the processional aspect of developmental incongruity. After essentially deriving our plasmatic experience by being surrounded in the conversation of divine deliberation the individual has gone through the proper preparatory procedure in which they have now advanced to the point of theosistic fibrosis, wherein the time has come to quote the ever vigilant Eryka Badu:

I was born under water, with three dollars and six dimes
Yeah you may laugh, but you did not do you math

The numerology of these figures means the following: "Three dollars" ($3) + Six dimes (60¢) = $3.60. There are 360° in a complete circle signifying that our journey ends where it began. 360 can be further broken down 3 + 6 + 0 = 9. There are 9 months of pregnancy. So it then becomes clear that Ms. Badu has clearly outlined the cosmic significance of being birthed in (or under) water. It is out of the amniotic fluid of physical biology that we are birthed into the overflowing abundance of what Yeshua described as "rivers of living water" or what I'd term the metaphysical ontology of the divine.

Fides Quaerens Intellectum

As faith seeks understanding it does so in such a way as to negate extemporaneous factors of quasi-intellectual exploits. The karmatic¹ influence of preexisting existential ideals leads us into the depths of presuppositionless exegetical methodology whereby we determine our faith in and through the kerygmatic Christ event. Therefore, faith seeks understanding not due to any sense of necessity but rather because understanding is the snipe of theological inquiry that faith must hunt.

¹ Karmatic from the Hindi "kárma" (kar = vehicle + ma = mother), meaning: a maternal means of transportation by which one is driven through the eternal reality of life's existence.

Power Surge

The omni-attributes of the Theos-team are relegated in such a way as to never be fully comprehended by those who have not been made θειας κοινωνοι φυσεως. And those who have partooken in the divine cannot understand the full actuality of the æsthetic appeal accepted and accentuated in the allergenic albeit Ash Wednesday-like being-in-communion. It is this æsthetic that anticipated the Aristotelian arrogance exhibited in the φιλοσοφια του κοσμου but has been deemed divinely foolish through the torture stake of Messiah. But in the powerlessness of the divine death--or as the fathers called it the patripassian--the theo-child/parent shewed forth the ultimate omnipotence in an array of Sonlight (or Childlight) only viewable in the face of redemption through the lenses of self-sacrificial mediocrity. And while the first glaring glance through the looking glass might appear contradictory, the theopneustosed nature of the utterance of apostolic apostasy proves otherwise, for as the rabbinim of antiquity were apt to enunciate: "to the right or to the left-even if they point out to you that right is left and left is right, obey them." (Sifrei [Piska 154]) Contemporary application of this sagacious principle provides the perfect processive substructure for the point that in its powerlessness the omni-attributed theo-team possesses all power.